Tuesday, April 04, 2006

New Star Trek Movie

You’d think they’d have some respect for the corpse of a once-great series:


When you think about how many times, in the absence of any new ideas, Hollywood has trundled out some decomposed cadaver in order to wring a few dollars out of an old favorite, this kind of news should come as no great surprise. Someone in a tall glass tower in Hollywood stares out of his boardroom window with a pair of binoculars, and sees off in the distance a huge crowd of lost, disaffected Trek fans mulling around in circles with a spare $9.50 in their pockets. And he says "we need another Trek movie, but without having to use a CG or animatronic Scotty and McCoy, and without having to use a body double for Shatner during long speaking sequences or well-lit scenes. Also, Nimoy creeps me out." So what do they do? They pull up the stool, hook up the apparatus, and begin milking.

So the article describes an "old skool" Trek storyline that will bring together the characters we first dorked out on, but with new, non-dead-or-gross actors (though i imagine they will still use Nichelle Nichols as Uhura, since with some hair dye she basically looks the same). But who will they find? And some other smells!!!!!

My Picks:

Young Kirk: Christopher Walken, no question.

Young Spock: Crispin Glover, or, if unavailable, Christopher Walken

Young McCoy: Steve Buscemi or Richard Belzer

Young Uhura: Nichelle Nichols w/ some hair dye. C’mon, what’s she doing lately anyway?

Young Chekhov: Wil Wheaton (juuuust kidding!) or Jake Gyllenhall, featuring an excruciatingly bad russian accent.

Young Sulu: Tony Jaa

Young Scotty: Jack Black (h/t AK)

An unstoppable ensemble, in my opinion.